Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
