please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
