my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
