i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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