New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
