Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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