Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he was CRYING into my vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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