I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
