were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize