do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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