blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
