This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
