Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sex in a hospital.. check
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
