please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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