I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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