i think i have herpe
just one?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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