just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
