I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
