I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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