nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
