Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
