I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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