After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
