oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
