so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize