I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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