And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
