You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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