So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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