You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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