Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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