he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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