You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
