he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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