I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
