I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
