i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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