I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he thought i was a dude.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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