My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize