I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
