I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize