I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
