im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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