her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So squirting runs in the family.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
