Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
