with your own penis?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
