Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
