You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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