dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm like, not good at living.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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