Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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