it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
