I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So much rum. So many feels.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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