haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
