if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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