Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
