took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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