I think I just saw someone hide a body.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
