none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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