I just pynch a tree in the face
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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