Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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